As we make our journey through life we gather memories on the way. The happy moments that we treasure become part of the fabric of our lives, the shared family stories that anchor us and give us a sense of belonging, that let us know that we are a part of something bigger than just our solitary selves. They strengthen us and our bonds with others. The sharing of our memories and the retelling of our stories is an ancient thing. People gathered around a fire sharing the myths and legends of the tribe was the way in which knowledge and folklore was passed from generation to generation.
We too have our personal myths and folklore, made up of the stories we have heard about ourselves. Maybe you heard – “She is such a good girl” or “He is useless at sports, his brother is the sporty one, he has two left feet”. Positive or negative, these too become anchors, ways of being. Then over the years we add the ones we tell about ourselves, “Oh no, I am useless at that!!” – “I will never be able to do it!” – “Just my luck” – “I am so unlucky with men” – “Nothing ever goes right for me”. These beliefs and repeated stories become part of our ‘script’.
The truth of the matter is, that as good as memories are for keeping us grounded and for continuity, they are based on the past, and the people and situations that we once were, and situations that once existed. We are constantly growing and evolving and if we are conscious of the negative elements of the story we tell about ourselves, then we can choose to change that too.
“Whatever your past has been, you have a spotless future.”– Melanie Gustafson
Life is based on the choices we make every day, the book we are writing of our lives. We can write a comedy or a tragedy. We can write ourselves a part as a hero or heroine, or we can be the poor soul, the victim, the martyr. We can write a tale of drudgery and lack, or one filled with sparkling happy moments. If you thought about your life so far, what sort of book would it be? how would you as a character be cast? It is an interesting exercise to realise that we have a choice in how we want our ‘story’ to play out, what do we want to write in for our character? What adventures could we put in there for him/her? What hidden qualities could you find in your lead character? What baggage could they drop? What choices does she / he need to make in the coming pages? What is your ‘happy ending’?
All the things you have experienced, have made you who you are right now. The good, the bad, the joy and the pain. But whatever your life has been, right up to this second, you have a choice in where it goes from here. Every moment is a place we have never been before, every day, a new day. Every day is a chance to add happy moments, as the future is lived one day at a time. The future is still unwritten. You have a blank canvas, a clean white page.
The new year is coming up, a time when lots of us look back over the year just passed and make resolutions for the coming one. This year why not do it a little differently and think of which stories you want to leave behind and which new ones you want to write in. Think of it as the start of a new chapter in the book you are writing about your life.
Susannah Bec first started blogging at the beginning of this year and took to it like a duck to water! She lives in the UK with her partner Joe and three adorable cats. Check out Susannah’s great and inspirational blogs at Joy Frequencies and My Name Is Zing.
Thanks for really lovely piece – very positive and encouraging, I am a friend of Barbaras (old school) and I always read your blog too – Joy frequencies and try to remember some of your inspirational thoughts.
Well done and thanks
Your lovely piece – sorry, can't call it blog – don't like the sound of the word!! – really appealed to me. Life can be very difficult at times as we cope as best we can with tragedy, illnesses and day to day problems. It is how we view ourselves in dealing with these situations that determines whether we see ourselves as a martyr, a victim or a heroine.
Hi Maureen and thank you very much for your comment, it is much appreciated.
Please say hello next time you visit Joy Frequencies, it will be great to see you there. 🙂
Yes I know what you mean about the word blog – it isn't exactly a pretty word is it!
I think that you made a really important and valuable point about how we view ourselves when dealing with difficult situations. Do we see ourselves as martyr, victim or heroine. It is how we view ourself that counts.
Excellent observation, thanks very much for commenting and adding more good food for thought.